free Spirited mama

Celebrating Solstice::Counting Down the Days

In the first post of this series, I explained my family's desire to celebrate the natural world as well as how to celebrate this season in a way that resonates with our values. You can read how we tailored the idea of celebrating Advent in relationship to the Winter Solstice in that post as well.

In addition to marking each of the four Sundays before the Solstice with a small candle ritual, we also count down the days to Solstice with a special advent calendar. This year there happens to be 24 days from the first day of Advent to Solstice.

To make our calendar, I bought 24 little stockings and used mini clothespins to secure the stockings on a piece of string. Each day I write a special message to the family explaining how we will celebrate that day. I also made a sun (from craft sticks and yellow felt) that travels from stocking to stocking to let us know how many days are left until Winter Solstice. I love the idea of having Advent gifts be more action-oriented rather than material based. This year I did a little of both to keep the interest of my 2.5 year old and so far it's a hit.

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program

Almost one year ago, I left this space behind (in the middle of my Celebrating Solstice posts no less) to attend to the news that we were expecting our second child.  I have learned that as a pregnant mama, I am not much of a multi-tasker and the everyday duties of life were all I could handle at that time.  And now here it is almost exactly one year later (with our 2.5 year old and our 3 month old!) and I am ready to resume the chronicling of our days and of my observations of such in this online journal.  I am especially excited to continue with the Celebrating Solstice series of posts that I started last year since it is the season!

I have missed writing and having a space to "breathe out" into.  The days seem to run together without a way to punctuate and reflect on all that is happening around us.  I appreciate having a place to record our daily joys and discoveries.  Thank you for following along!

 

 

Celebrating Solstice :: An Unconventional Advent

When my husband and I met (over 10 years ago now), we both expressed our desire to create our own traditions and rituals to celebrate living in rhythm with the Earth's seasons.  Traditionally these festivals are celebrated by Pagans and other Earth-based spiritualists.  I can't say that I belong to any such formal religious group, yet I see value and wisdom in them all--from Christianity to Buddhism to Paganism.  Instead, I choose to remain unaffiliated but create holiday traditions that fit with our family's unique blend of beliefs.

In the next few posts, I'll share with you some of the ways we celebrate the birth of the Sun, rather than the birth of the Son.  We do, however, very much respect everyone's personal faith and spiritual belief systems. I share our traditions so that others who hold a more agnostic world view can have something to reference or jump-off from. I know I've very much wished for more people to share their personal family traditions to cultivate more ideas and continue carving out a new path for our family.  I do hope you find it useful and inspiring to help you create meaning and tradition in your own family - no matter what your spiritual beliefs may be.

I'll start by sharing with you our version of Advent. 

Winter Solstice usually falls on December 21st each year - the longest day of the year.  We count back four Sundays from this date and begin our countdown from there.  This year we began Advent the Sunday after Thanksgiving - synchronous with Christian Advent.  

On this day, we put up and decorate our holiday tree, create a new seasonal altar on our mantle, and build a new Advent wreath.  All this while listening to A Charlie Brown Christmas or our Pandora Jazz Holiday Channel.  I do love Christmas music! 

This year we decided to keep our Advent wreath simple.  Since we're now in a small townhouse, we have limited space to work with.  So I bought a package of 100% pure beeswax Hanukkah candles and created the little Advent wreath you see below.  This hurricane candle holder sits on our coffee table year round and at each season I change out the contents.  I removed our decorative gourdes from Autumn and replaced them with a simple red berry wreath, 5 Advent candles--four candles surrounding a center candle.

With the lighting of our first advent candle (the candle closest to the East) we recite the following verses:

The first light of Advent is the light of stones. Stones that live in crystals, seashells and bones. (from the Waldorf tradition)

Spirit of the East, spirit of air, of morning and springtime: Be with us as the sun rises, in times of beginning, times of planting. Inspire us with the fresh breath of courage as we go forth into new adventures. (from the Unitarian Universalist tradition)

On the second Sunday of Advent we light the southern-most candle (in addition to the first candle) and recite these verses:

The second light of Advent is the light of plants.  Roots, stem, leaf, flower and fruit by whom we live and grow. (from the Waldorf tradition)

Spirit of the South, spirit of fire, of noontime and summer: Be with us through the heat of the day and help us to be ever growing. Warm us with strength and energy for the work that awaits us. (Unitarian Universalist)

On the third Sunday of Advent we relight the first two candles plus the candle on the West and say:

The third light of advent is the light of beasts.  Animals of farm, field, forest, air and sea.  All await the birth in the greatest and in the least. (from the Waldorf tradition)

Spirit of the West, spirit of water, of evening and autumn: Be with us as the sun sets and help us to enjoy a rich harvest. Flow through us with a cooling, healing quietness and bring us peace. (from the Unitarian Universalist tradition)

On the fourth Sunday, we relight the previous three candles plus the northern-most candle and say:

The fourth light of Advent is the light of humankind. The light of love, the light of thought, to give and to understand. (Waldorf)

Spirit of the North, spirit of earth, of nighttime and winter: Be with us in the darkness, in the time of gestation. Ground us in the wisdom of the changing seasons as we celebrate the spiraling journey of our lives. (UU)

The fifth (center) candle is reserved for the night of the actual Winter Solstice (I'll go into that ritual in a later post).  On each Sunday before Solstice we light our candles, say our verses, and exchange one very small gift (usually handmade).  We may even spontaneously break out into a holiday song or two!

Stay tuned for more Solstice Celebration ideas!  May your season be Merry & Bright...

Things I'm Enjoying (aka Where I've Been Lately)

Visiting Dear Friends in SF

Knitting, Lots of Knitting

Turn-A-Square Hat

Snowboarder's Hat

Ribs & Ruffles Scarves

Cooking & Baking

Yummy Apple Pie

Decadent Pumpkin Pie

Easy & Delicious Green Beans

My Red Lentil Soup (recipe to come)

Eating and Sipping

Theo's Fig Fennel & Almond Chocolate

Lost River Merlot

Watching

Dress to Kill (for free!)

Yes, I've read them all!

Just got started with this

And of course, my current favorite

Listening

Christians & Pagans

The Elf Soundtrack

Wishing

for this coffee maker

for these boots

for these earrings

for this this yummy yarn

Learning

how to psso

how to make beeswax candles

how to run an etsy shop

What is keeping you busy lately?

Discovering What You Came For

Aidan and Daddy discovering rocks by the lake - September 2009

I'm reading Barbara Sher's newest book, Refuse to Choose: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love.  And I have to say, despite the sort-of-cheesy title: it's awesome.  Long ago, I read her book I Could Do Anything If Only Knew What it Was and discovered that I am a Scanner.

Boy, did this ever explain a lot. 

But it apparently wasn't enough of an "Aha! Moment" to really change me.  I mean, I really identified with the description of a Scanner and knew that was me, but I continued on my search for my One True Thing, albeit unsuccessfully.  

And then I stumbled upon this current book which is dedicated solely to helping Scanners experience ALL of their interests: from beekeeping to photography, from parenting to traveling the world--how does one fit these things into one life?  It all feels overwhelming--so much so that I start to give up on my dreams and years and years go by without having done one thing from my list.

So far, I'm getting a lot from this book.  My biggest lesson so far is accepting that as a Scanner finishing something may mean something very different to me than to it does to our mainstream culture.  Barbara suggests that when a Scanner gets what they were looking for out of an experience (whether that be a sense of discovery, the joy of researching, or the exhilaration of starting something new) it's finished for them.  But it might appear to outsiders that the Scanner doesn't have follow-through. But really it's just a matter of perspective.  The "end" of a project depends on what a person is seeking, right?  Scanners love new things, they love to learn and are just generally interested in life itself.  I thought this Buddhist Koan (that Barbara offers to readers) explained it perfectly:

Q: How long should you stay at something?

A: However long it takes to get what you came for.

Q: How do you decide what you came for?

A: You don't, you discover it.

Q: How do you discover it?

A: You notice what isn't there anymore when you feel like leaving.

Think on that for a moment.  Such an interesting point of view, don't you think? When a project loses it's steam (i.e. passion, discovery, fun, etc) maybe you got what you came for (i.e. the passion, the discovery, the fun). Of course, there are times when you have to break through an obstacle to keep going, but is that always the case? After reading this, I don't think so.  I think that allowing ourselves to do something just for the fun, passion, or discovery of it, is a way of radically accepting the free-spirited part of ourselves.  Not everything has to "produce" something tangible or something that mainstream culture deems as valuable. I think the more ethereal qualities like fun, passion and discovery hold just as much worth and possibility, but it's up to each one of us to reclaim that for ourselves. What do you think?

Evidence of the Season

Blog Action Day 2009: Climate Change

our weekly bike ride to the farmer's market via our beloved city bike trail

Each year thousands of bloggers write about a single topic to encourage discussions on social and environmental issues. In the spirit of raising awareness about global warming, I'm participating in Blog Action Day today.  

I'm more of the mindset that inspiring and encouraging people to make small lifestyle changes is more effective than coming from a place of fear-based evangelism--especially when it comes to environmental issues.  Nothing turns me off more than a seemingly self-righteous person preaching the gospel of global warming.  And at the same time we all know that a collective effort is needed to get back on track in this arena.  

On that note, my husband and I have made small choices--stretched out over time--to help decrease our family's overall environmental footprint.  Often times, we find that these choices end up improving our actual quality of life--giving us more time to connect with each other and the world around us--rather than feeling like a time drain.  For example, we recently moved quite a bit closer to my husband's workplace. The area we chose is located one block away from a designated bicycle trail which passes right by his employer.  Each day my husband hops on his bike for a 20 minute ride--getting his exercise and taking in the beautiful scenery along the way.  Instead of choosing a bigger home in a more residential area, we decided to go with a smaller townhouse within walking distance to the grocery store, post office, library, parks, and just about everything else we need.  Between the two of us, we rarely use our cars.  Car trips are reserved for trips out of town or for errands further away.

Aidan enjoying his farmer's market loot and the scenic ride home

What we've found is that we're spending more time with each other and more time outdoors.  We're also getting more exercise, but not feeling like we need to go to the gym.  Our days are just more active than when we lived a more car-dependent lifestyle.  And I have to say that having more quality family time is my true motivator.  Gone are the days when my husband spent over three hours a day in traffic commuting.  Gone are the days when my son is screaming from the backseat of the car in our 30 minute journey to the health food store.  Now he screams from the stroller.  But I'm available to attend to his needs and meet him face-to-face.

That's me, living my french-girl bicycle fantasy

This is what's worked for us.  We found a lifestyle we feel good about socially that also fits with our family values.  I know this is not the answer for everyone.  All I can do is share my experiences and triumphs with you in hopes of inspiring you to find the answer that works for your family.  Maybe you already have.  I'd love to hear how your family is making a positive impact toward lessening carbon emissions. Please share...maybe your solution will spark a change in someone else.  

Savoring Fall: Making Apple Pear Sauce

 
Along with Honeycrisp Apples and Bartlett Pears, this year we added a few Asian Pears in the mix for our first batch of homemade apple pear sauce.

I just adore my Pampered Chef apple peeler/corer/slicer.  It's super fast and fun to use.  Plus, aren't these peelings so pretty?

My littlest taste-tester had four bowls of warm apple pear sauce this afternoon.  Guess we've found a winner. 

Normal is the New Exotic

Making Chicken Soup October 2009

Well, well, well.  It's been a while since I've come to write in this space, hasn't it? In the last month so much has transpired I've found myself feeling stretched to the limits and unable to come here to share my thoughts with you. Although this blog is so young, I've already felt an inner tugging to clarify (even more) what it is I'm doing here.  And for the last month or so, I've been marinating in these thoughts. 

But it dawned on me today. 

I was reading Ali Edward's latest post and I felt a sense of clarity and lightness I haven't felt in a long time. Ali posted this quote by Mary Jean Iron:

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.

And just like that it all came together for me: I want this blog space to be where normal, mundane everyday moments are celebrated.  Where creativity is acknowledged even in the cracks and crevices of our days. Where self-care is not some grand event, but small moments of breathing and bringing myself back to myself paced throughout the day.  Where cooking dinner and playing patty-cake is my rare and perfect tomorrow--right now.  Right now.  Right now, I have the choice to surrender to the chaos and the beauty that is motherhood.  Every moment.

In no time at all the open-mouthed guppy kisses, the endless rides on my hip, and his chubby little finger pointing to the moon will be gone.  But it is here now.  It is here now to revel-in and experience fully with joy.

And I invite you to join us in celebrating, acknowledging and surrendering to normal.  Normal is the new exotic, didn't you know?  Join us in embracing our regular old days in all their imperfect glory.  Because it is here now. 

Dreams vs. Goals

wood-fired sauna at Skalitude Retreat, November 2008

This week I've been participating in Andrea Scher's and Jen Lemen's Mondo Beyondo e-course on dreaming big. So far, the course has been wildly inspiring. If you aren't familiar with the concept of Mondo Beyono, take a moment to read more about it here.  The gist is that each year you get gutsy with your dreams enough to write them down on paper as a way of declaring that at least some part of you is willing and open for this dream to come true.  The Mondo Beyondo list is for your BIG dreams--the dreams that are too scary to say out loud, the dreams that we have a hard time even admitting to ourselves. 

For example, a Mondo Beyondo dream of mine is to write and publish a bestselling book.

This exercise isn't hard for me to do actually.  Of course, many of my big  dreams are the kind I keep quiet for fear of coming off as lofty. But in general, I've always been a dreamer, a believer, an idealist and someone who holds out for a happy ending.

What I didn't anticipate having a hard time with is this: I'm wondering if now is the time for me to keep dreaming up more possibility or is now the time for me to hunker-down and begin realizing some of the dreams I've held on to for so many years? 

I'll never have a hard time dreaming big, but I've always had a hard time grounding the dreams I do have. When it is time to set goals and timelines to help bring long-thought-about dreams to reality and when is it time to just allow ourselves to dream without expectation? And are the two mutually exclusive?

I guess I'm wondering if at some point in a dreamer's life, does dreaming become a distraction and the very thing that stops us from living the life we want?  My best guess is that there always has to be a little of both going on. A little hunkering-down and a little dreaming--constantly ebbing and flowing. And when one of the two gets out of balance (i.e. too much dreaming or too much hunkering) it's time to play a little catch up.

Where are you right now?  Are you dreaming big or hunkering-down?  Or maybe somewhere in-between?